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Lung Dung

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[13 Feb 2012|07:53pm]
Jan Svankmajer bends my mind.

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hope is a longing for a future condition over which you have no agency [14 Nov 2011|02:44am]
After 2 years of dealing with:
-broken door knobs on our "fire escape".
-giant vampire cockroaches
-narcotics stashes being left 5 feet from the door
-a front porch being turned into paddy wagon parking lot
-a building manager formerly employed at Mauthausen to make lamps out of human skin
we are GONE.

Snoremonster and I checked out.  I've lived in abandoned buildings with less problems.

Six harrowing trips later and we're all moved in.  With some hope the new land lords don't hear us living out our favorite chapters from Histoire d'O and the heat gets fixed.
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[06 Sep 2011|09:31pm]
I wonder if the people that hate me have forgotten my name. I hope I was a minor character in their lives.

The internet has grown boring and yet still insists on being capitalized by all versions of spell check.
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[09 Aug 2011|09:45pm]
I almost never snicker at other people's bizarre sexual lives because my kettle is very black. But sometimes I come across something that shocks, horrifies and amuses me in equal measure.

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[30 Nov 2009|03:30pm]
I rather drink bleach than try renting a condo again:

People who interviewed me for this bag of rocks:

-Fred Sanford:
Who threatened to kill our pet snake with a machine gun, inbetween spitting water melon seeds on the floor.

-Xenia Zaragevna Onatopp:
"In ukraine you pay now the move in fee twice with the four money orders for each sofa you move in to home country!"
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[17 Oct 2009|04:47pm]
I'm asymetrical. Fuck these piercers need to learn 2 aim. Maybe he was too busy watching some SWEET ass beating on COPS.

My coworker is playing Beyonce club hits right now. Death by hanging plz.
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[15 Oct 2009|05:13pm]

Snore monster recently introduced me to Bob Flanagan's art of publicly putting sharp metal objects in his man member.

Even in death BOB RULEZZZZ.
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[14 Aug 2009|02:56pm]
Week of vacation was fun. I wandered around Telegraph with snore monster, trolled the kinkster stores in San fan and saw the Samurai exhibition at Asian Arts Museum.

There are 2 things amazing about about California

-Public Pot smoking everywhere and unpopularity of cig smoking. In front of a commercial movie theater; a blunt. Walking down the street; a joint.

-Drivers are polite to pedestrians. Its practically impossible to get run over. On the same note no one seems to j walk much.

A good release but only a temporary solution. Back to the grind!

Save meeeee.....!!!
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[27 Dec 2008|05:37pm]
The only people to get me Christmas presents were my parents (a homemade diorama of the French foreign legion in Egypt) and my boss (J.W. whiskey). Strange how it works out.

Ele is a jude and excused from giving Christmas gifts.

Someone come knock on my door. I'm lonely.
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[09 Nov 2008|10:15am]
Normally a video game review is nerdy and unacceptable content but Fallout 1 + 2 fill some childhood memories.

What really got me hooked was the opening of Fallout 1. A TV playing fictional 1950's advertisements slowly backs out into a living room, further zooming out to the crumbling remains of a building and then the complete ruins of a city. Then the TV shuts off. Silence.


Fallout 3 is amazing. I can't explain how beautiful Washington DC is after its been nuked several times over and left to decay. Think Mad Max fueled on meth, gore and crummy science fiction.

In my first play through I detonated a dormant WW3 Fat Man (atmoic bomb) wiping out a small wasteland town. "What a grand display of fireworks!"


Wandered into an abandoned Super Dooper mart shop lifted and ate some irradiated YumYum Deviled Eggs only to be ambushed by tire iron wielding raiders.

Sold numerous wastelanders and children into slavery. A task for which I was paid in bottle caps.

Fixed a radio transmitter to the top of the Washington monument so that the local radio station could broadcast Billie Holliday and The Ink Spots throughout the Capital wasteland.

Activated a pre-war Chinese killing robot for the purpose of liberating the Lincoln memorial from Fascist Americanos ("ALASKA'S LIBERATION IS IMMINENT! THE LAST DOMINO FALLS HERE!")


Peered over the edge of irradiated crater where the White House was nuked by China.

Died of radiation sickness, land mines, bear traps, zombies, and gun shot wounds.

Got high and later addicted to Jet, Pycho and Buffout.

Snuck around the DC subway tunnels, jumping every turn style.

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Writer's Block: Secret Ballot [04 Nov 2008|01:34pm]
It's hard to ignore the fact that today is Election Day in the U.S. If you went to the polls today, tell us what it was like. Long line? Free stickers? Hanging chads? We want the details.

Ran out this morning and voted for the colored gentleman with the nice suit and sophisticated turn of phrase. He won the coin toss best of three.
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[01 Oct 2008|08:20pm]
Geeze I haven't touched this in ages. Shame upon me and my house. So much stuff has happened I should probably split it up into 4 volumes. But no a TL;DR summary is at hand. DRUM ROLL!

-After lifting hundreds of piles of books from the old store, our house is now filled with them. Its like a submarine, where you can peekout the windows at the outside world behind WALLS of books. LOOK MOM A OCTA-PUS! Kind of a shame, we had so much space.

-I got hired, got pissed off and quit Treat in the space of 3 pay checks. This was unfortunate but necessary. I can't put my finger on what exactly was annoying me SO... GOD... DAMN... MUCH. Maybe it was the lecturing, bad attitude, and idiocy? It could have been being moved to part timed after being hired full time. Anyway; no regrets. Bonus points for keeping a cool head.

-My sleeping is totally fucked.

-Other stuff.
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[20 Aug 2008|05:30am]
Birthdays don't feel important anymore. Boring ritual ego inflation is boring. I didn't like birthday cake anyway.

Strange having whole years USED UP though!

PS: I'm 22. "TRIPPY" huh?
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bring on the hipster holocaust [19 Jul 2008|01:12am]
I was wondering why douche bags in Wicker park were wearing these things. Now you know.

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Say "NO" to Burning Man [12 Jul 2008|06:26pm]
Posting this to remind my self to say "NO" to burning man.

-300 bucks (+expenses) is a lot of money to spend doing drugs in the desert with burn outs who think pychadelics makes them clever.

-300 bucks (+expenses) is a lot of money for a 5 minute yuppie pretend anarchist cluster fuck fest.

-300 bucks (+expenses) is a lot of money for me to resist killing twats in the desert.

-300 bucks (+expenses) is a lot of money for alkilia dust exposure, hellish nevada heat and a week of no showers.

-300 bucks (+expenses) is a lot of money to sit in the fucking desert dressed as Erwin Rommel, drink looted french wine, and shell hippies with the Flak88 that I drag from front.
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[04 Jul 2008|07:31pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Please call (773) 666-3675 and tell them that their "fucking bell" has been ringing... errrrr "obnoxiously clanging" for over an hour.

And that Lung Dung will not be attending church today.

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good morning, i love you [25 Jun 2008|11:47pm]
[ mood | devious ]

I'm seriously tired of being addicted to the Internet. If only I could swap it for something valuable. Unlike you compulsive wikipedia/youtube/myspace fiends I can! Cashing out this week, go me!

I have no desire to be a complete Luddite (computers and the Internet are useful) so maybe I can be more conscious in the near future. Ta!

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Pervert pride bitches! [21 Jun 2008|06:31pm]

Was looking for this for ages!!!

I couldn't stop laughing at 3:00

"This moral decay weakens our resistance to the onslaught of the communist masters of deceit!"
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[31 May 2008|11:01pm]
Today I got hit in the head with a bottle on the west side. OUCH! I sat down to write, but upon reivew found it racist and filled with incredibly stupid remarks.

Perhaps after a day of recovery I will be able to write something without use of wild death threats involving LSD/flagellation/napalm and with a suitable replacement for the N word in all caps and the largest font size.

A more sane post next time.

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[21 May 2008|11:21am]
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